Sara's Story
Writen by Sara Barrick July 2024
I battled misophonia for 25 years, starting when I was twelve. It wasn't until my mid-20s that I had a name for my struggle, and I've been free from it for over five years now.
Warning - this story does make reference to general categories of trigger sounds.
Sara has a book coming out spring of 2025, Demystifying Misophonia, in which she shares her insights and strategies for finding freedom from Misophonia in greater depth.
I was triggered by eating and other mouth sounds, oral sounds from animals, repetitive movements, and certain syllables. Those I spent a lot of time with triggered me most easily, though I could also be triggered by any person chewing gum and classmates snacking when I needed to focus on a test or lecture. Misophonia was most heightened with my partner of 19 years, followed by my parents and some of my college roommates.
Before finding relief, I had anticipatory anxiety prior to entering situations where triggering might occur. Once in those settings, triggers were at the forefront of my mind. When triggering occurred, I would have a strong urge to get away from the trigger or to stop it. This was accompanied by intense anger or disgust, muscle tension, and uncomfortable body sensations, most typically the sensation of wanting to crawl out of my own skin. In essence, triggers would hijack both my mind and body.
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Nowadays, I can be around those same triggers and trigger people without experiencing anything I just described. Ninety-five percent of the time, I don't even notice my former triggers when they’re present. The only scenario where my brain can become focused on and my body somewhat activated by past triggers is when I find myself in a confined space (like a car), feeling stressed about something else (such as running late), and there's no end in sight with the trigger (like with gum chewing). However, I approach it with agency and self-compassion, understanding my experience not as something “random,” but rather as part of the larger context (including being a Highly Sensitive Person).
The journey to this point wasn't straightforward. Over the years, I sought help from various therapists and professionals. While most had never heard of misophonia, they did equip me with tools to manage and improve other aspects of my life—such as setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and learning relaxation techniques. Mindfulness meditation became a cornerstone of my daily routine, after taking Jon Kabat-Zinn’s 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Course in my early 30’s.
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I explored different avenues—anti-anxiety medications, inner-ear white noise generators, even a rigorous vitamin regimen—but none cracked the code of misophonia. In 2017, I began Somatic Experiencing training. This three-year program helped me reconnect with my body, heal past traumas, and have agency over my nervous system.
Then, in 2018, a pivotal shift occurred. I unlearned the unconscious schema that had been at the root of my misophonia response: My feelings of discomfort, if different from the perspective of others and potentially upsetting to them, are invalid and must be repressed. I must simply endure the discomfort; there’s nothing I can do. I was going through a major life transition (divorce), out of which I experienced a new learning in an embodied and powerful way, which was that My feelings matter, even if they differ from others' perspectives and are disliked by others (when named or honored by me). I’m strong, and I have many options for agency when encountering discomfort.
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Due to the way this transition played out, the old learning “file” was open while the new learning was being experienced. Since both schemas could not be true (because of their juxtaposition nature), the new learning ultimately replaced the old one. With the new learning, misophonia triggers were no longer a threat and no longer required a fight/flight response. In more technical terms, I had an organic experience of memory reconsolidation. Over time, I came to understand what had occurred and to recognize that the work I had done prior to this transition had laid the foundation for this profound shift.
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Since then, I’ve maintained lifestyle habits—such as regular exercise, setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, listening to my body, processing rather than repressing emotions, and practicing self-compassion—to support a healthy nervous system "window of tolerance" to ensure my highly sensitive nature doesn’t manifest in debilitating forms, such as misophonia.